Evolution of the interim soul!
So here I am with my ass half frozen and my fingers almost frostbitten and typing in this blog entry.
No i am not in any snowing country, i am stuck in a raggedy ass cubicle in my ITP office which apparently loves to put intern directly under the air con. What they can achieve out of this other then a dead intern i don't exactly know. So if this wasn't bad enough, I haven't watched porn and wanked for like close to 3 weeks! I am going to FUCKING explode i tell you. Imagine the paper having the headlines :
" Youth,18 found lying in a pool of semen and blood."
By Vanga Ganasan
Sexual Crimes Correspondant
An 18 year old youth was found dead earlier yesterday morning at around 3.30am. Police rushed down to the scene at changi village upon receiving a tip off from a "lady with a really rough voice" at around 3.15am. Eyewitnesses that The Straight Times spoke to exclaim that the youth was a regular among the transsexuals there, and would not just mess around with them, but would more often then not head up to a hdb flat and shower money down on them.
According to Mr Suckmydick, 61, who would go to changi village for his daily dose of blowjobs and shebangabangs and scullywogs and salad tossings had this to say.
"This shemales aggh, or ladyboys aggh, or also known as your son/brother/ without lan jiao aggh, are getting more and more beefier and muscular aggh. This is due to their part time obsession aggh,. with dragonboating aggh. Also aggh, nowadays due to porn sites like ladyboy 69 aggh, or asian ladyboys.com aggh, most of this ah gua don't like to chop off their ding dongs aggh! Instead they like to keep it as a discount counter aggh. You play with their ding dongs you can 75 percent off market rate for ah gua sexytime aggh."
Another eyewitness, and one whom got Fucked by a ladyboy instead, Mr Kurulaladummy Morgananal,31 opposed this concept instead.
"This scumbags of living beings who have large boobs and tight asses and everything in between should be shot dead and brought back to life and simply shot dead again!"
Upon further revelations however, it was noted that Mr Morgananal lost his mind after being raped by a shemale because he was mistaken for a "black floating watermelon"
Police claim investigations are under way, but there has been rumors that the prison at cantonment complex has turned into a sinhole of sorts, after policemen queued up in droves to "experience tranny loving" without feeling guilty that they may be gay.
When we spoke to the youths friend, most of them had nothing to say but vile things, thus sealing the fate of this youth, a place in hell indeed,
Stanley Tan,18 had this to say.
"That black dick is dead? Muhahahah Buddha be praised! He and his constant labelling of me being a gemini! Looks like we tend to outlive virgos longer muhahahahaha"
Esmond Poh,18 also testified to this accounts of bullying.
"I was short, and everytime we took a train, Vanga would just stand and fart downwind which would bring that deadly pong right into my face!"
The reporter noted however, that Esmond WAS not short, but in fact still IS.
When interviewing the ladies however, there were extremities all around.
Joyce Tan,16 recounted how that "black dude" used to be disillusioned.
"I was just 13 luh, then this crazy assed mandarin speaking black man comes and expects me to celebrate deepavali with him. So i said no. This he tried to pull off some black magic stunt which did not make him powerful, but instead poorer Muhahahahah. So you trying to tell me he's dead? Wait i have got to make a phone call."
"Wei qi duo hua aggh? Na ke Si Ah Neh si liao! uh huh....uh huh... uh tio tio tio huat aggh! Ke buay 4d le zhai bo"
"Oh yeah so yep, he was a black man"
Being from a uniformed group, we then went down to his unit for several interviews thou none would be willing to speak, eventually we got hold of Ms Tanny Koh, a wonderfully sweet woman we could only likened to doleres Umbridge from the hairy pothead universe.
Tanny, too old to be stated, had this to bitch about Vanga.
"That boy was so black, i had to get him out of ncdcc because he was a hazard at camps and gathering!"
Shortly after she left however, several more eyewitness accounts came up, mostly about boys who were subsequently touched in "classified" places by this interestingly dead man.
So from all of us here at The Straight Times, This is Vanga DShadow.
So now you know how freaking bored i am? No Porn, No Masturabation, No Girls, No Nothing! Hmmm suddenly that watermelon looks really attractive "/
posted by p0623791 @ 9:18 AM
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